Before you officially start reading this article, think about it carefully:

Have you ever let your children participate in housework?

When was the last time you had a child help you with something?

Dear parents, you must be wondering why the editor asked this question. Here is the answer – at the recent "First Yangtze River Delta Home-School Cooperation Summit Forum", participating education experts all said that keeping children away from housework at home will Staying away from real family life and only focusing on studying is the biggest misunderstanding of family education – it will make children hate life.

Real family education should be life education, and home-school cooperation does not turn the family into a school, but makes the family more like a family.

History always seems to be strikingly similar. We have been instilled by our parents with an obsession since we were young, that is: "You just need to study hard and you don't have to worry about things at home", or "Have you done your homework? Go study quickly." Stop joining in the fun," or "I can't do (housework) well and make trouble for me, so you should focus on studying!" They restricted our hands-on ability as children at the time and deprived us of attempts or exercises. Opportunities have created many obstacles on our road to independence, resulting in the creation of many mama's boys (girls) among parents of our generation, some of whom have never even washed their own socks and underwear. Nowadays, we are also parents, and we also wish that our children would spend all their time studying. We take care of our children every day almost to the point of detail, ignoring the impact of housework on the development of children's motor skills, cognitive abilities and sense of responsibility. the importance of training.

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In many European and American countries, it is almost a consensus to allow children to participate in housework from an early age.

In Germany, there is even a special law that stipulates that children must do housework: before the age of 6, they can only play and do not have to do housework; between the ages of 6 and 10, they must occasionally help their parents wash dishes, sweep the floor, and buy things; between the ages of 10 and 14, they must cut hair Lawns, dishes, sweep the floor, and shoes for the whole family; 14-16 years old, have to wash the car and tidy the garden; 16-18 years old, have to clean the house at home once a week. For children who are unwilling to do housework, parents have the right to appeal to the court to urge their children to comply with the law. No child has any objection to this law.

Adults all have a consensus: the primary responsibility of parents is to let their children understand from an early age that by doing housework, a person must ultimately rely on himself, self-reliance and self-improvement to enter the society. For children, doing housework can not only exercise their bodies, but also cultivate their hands-on skills.

A German father said: "I give my children pocket money every month. This pocket money requires them to do some work, such as watering the flowers and plants in the garden, turning the soil, and helping their parents wash the dishes. Rather than letting the children become parasites in the future, Insects, why not teach them labor skills now!"

While Chinese children have been busy studying, attending tutoring classes and training classes,

American parents have designed household chores suitable for children at different stages: 2-3 year olds help their mothers hang clothes on hangers, and organize their toys before going to bed at night. At the age of 6-7, children can wash dishes with the help of their parents and clean their own rooms independently. 7-12 years old can make simple meals, help wash cars, vacuum and mop floors, clean bathrooms and toilets, and can use washing machines and dryers… What has caused heated discussions is nothing more than the difference in educational concepts between China and the United States: Most American parents It is believed that children, regardless of their age, are important family members, so it is important to tell them the responsibilities they should take in the family, and taking on household chores is the best way.

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In the eyes of Chinese people, especially many Chinese parents, perhaps only during the May Day holiday do we think of the meaning and value of the word "labor" to us, but in daily life we ​​rarely mention this word "labor" in China. Vocabulary at the core of human thought. Labor is so abstract and neutral that we can forget its existence. , knowledge can change destiny, but no one has ever said that labor can change destiny.

Of course, most parents in China also agree that children should be allowed to participate in housework, but some parents deprive their children of the opportunity to do housework for reasons such as "the children don't have time and can't do it well." For them, academics are what matters to their children. the most important thing.

Looking around the world, except for China, the average daily time for primary school students in other countries to do housework is – 1.2 hours in the United States, 0.7 hours in South Korea, 0.6 hours in the United Kingdom, 0.5 hours in France, 0.4 hours in Japan, and 0.2 hours in China, which is only 12 minutes a day. , children in cities have even less time for housework. "It's not that I don't want to do it, it's because my parents don't let me do it. They always ask me to seize the time to study"; "It's not that I'm lazy, it's because my parents are too diligent; it's not that I'm not good, it's because my parents do everything…" This is what most children are asked The consistent answer to why you don’t help your parents with housework in daily life.

Many parents think that asking their children to do housework will delay their studies and do not let their children do housework. However, the survey results tell us that in families where children are responsible for one or two housework tasks, the proportion of children with excellent academic performance is relatively high. Among families who believe that "as long as they study well, it doesn't matter whether they do housework or not", only 3.17% of the children have excellent academic performance, while among families who believe that "children should do some housework", the proportion of children with excellent academic performance is 86.92%. The difference is huge.

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A mother once wrote on Weibo: "Something happened a few days ago that made me feel very sad. I was sick and had a fever and was lying in bed to rest. After my son came home from school in the second grade of junior high school, not only did he not care about me, but complained that I didn't Cooking food for him. Of course, the son cannot be entirely blamed for this situation. The big reason is that he was not allowed to learn to be independent." The mother recalled the past and said that she was usually afraid of delaying her child's study and being afraid that the child would not be able to learn to be independent if he was tired. Let the children do housework, so once the child is needed, the child will not be able to treat his parents and the family with a high sense of responsibility, and he will feel that it is not his duty. Only by allowing children to undertake housework within their capabilities will they realize that they are an indispensable and important member of the family. Without the exercise of housework, it will be difficult for children to have this sense of responsibility.

Zeng Guofan once said that to judge whether a child will be successful when he grows up, look at these three things:

First, look at what time the child gets up;

Second, see if he takes the initiative to do housework;

Third, see if the child likes reading.

Education has never been limited to learning in class and book knowledge. In fact, exercise in family life can bring more to children. A survey conducted by the Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences on 20,000 families with primary school students across the country also showed that families whose children do housework are 27 times more likely to have excellent children than families who do not do housework.

A 20-year study by Harvard University shows that children who love to do housework have an employment rate of 15:1 compared with those who do not, have an income that is 20% higher than the latter, and have happier marriages.

Most of today's children only enjoy themselves and have no sense of responsibility. Proper housework can cultivate children's hard-working spirit, cultivate children's responsibility to their families and parents, and help form good personal qualities. While studying, children can experience their parents' hardships and develop love in return, which is also of great help in improving their comprehensive abilities, life wisdom, and ability to analyze and solve problems when encountering difficulties.

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One sentence summary: Letting children do housework will, in the short term, exercise their motor skills and cognitive development abilities. In the long term, it will develop their sense of responsibility and teach them about hard work and gratitude. Seeing this, some parents may ask: "What should I do if I can't get my child to do anything? Should I set some goals and requirements and coerce and induce him to complete them?"

I think almost no one is born to do housework. If doing housework is such a joyful thing, there is no need to spend so much time training children to do housework. How would you feel if someone forced you to do housework? In fact, what we often see is that couples quarrel over such trivial matters as who does the housework. Therefore, first of all, I am opposed to forcing children to do housework. Some people may say that children will not do housework unless they are forced to do it. Once they develop a habit, they will do it in the future.

Doing housework also has a very important meaning, that is, it can purify the mind and help children learn to be quiet. You think, if a person really wants to integrate housework into his life and enjoy the process of doing housework, he needs a peaceful state of mind. Only with a peaceful state of mind can the tedious housework process be internalized into bits and pieces of quality life. Only then can children learn to face life quietly.

But when parents force their children to do housework, they often feel anxious. Because your child refuses to do chores, you imagine the negative consequences of not doing them, and you become restless. And it is precisely because of the inflow of your anxiety that the child becomes more resistant to doing housework, and the child may also calm himself down by doing housework.

So when guiding your children to do housework, be patient and patient. You can start by accompanying your child to do housework together, and slowly let your child calm down and learn responsibility, independence, and responsibility. No one dislikes the feeling of being needed, and children prefer the feeling of being recognized by their parents. Therefore, parents can put down their posture appropriately to show weakness and let their children know that they are needed.

Children will eventually leave their parents and live alone. The ability to take care of themselves is the child's most basic survival need. Therefore, the ultimate goal of parents' love for their children should be "separation". The purpose of our love for children is to let them grow up independently, be strong enough to face the storms of the future, and have the ability to solve problems they encounter, instead of staying with us and being a "giant baby".

You may want to learn from this list of household chores for American children:

9-24 months: You can give your child some simple and easy instructions, such as letting your baby throw dirty diapers into the trash can.

2-3 years old: Can throw garbage into the trash can under the instructions of parents, or help to get things when parents ask for help; help mother hang clothes on hangers; use the toilet; brush teeth; water flowers (parents give children appropriate amounts of water); tidy up your toys before going to bed at night.

3-4 years old: use the toilet better; wash hands; brush teeth more carefully; water flowers carefully; pack away own toys; feed pets; go to the gate to retrieve newspapers on the ground; help mother make the bed before going to bed, such as picking up pillows, quilt, etc.; put the dishes in the kitchen sink after meals; help mom put the folded clean clothes back into the closet; put your own dirty clothes into the dirty clothes basket.

4-5 years old: Not only must they be proficient in the housework required in the previous stages, but also be able to independently retrieve letters from the mailbox; make their own bed; prepare the table (start by helping parents get the knife and fork, and slowly let the children help put the plates); After meals, put the dirty dishes back into the kitchen; fold the washed and dried clothes and put them back in the closet (teach your children how to fold different clothes correctly); prepare your own clothes for the next day.

5-6 years old: Not only must master the housework required in the previous stages, but also be able to help clean the table; make the bed/change the sheets (start by helping mother take away the dirty sheets and bring clean sheets); prepare the second one by yourself The school bag and shoes needed to go to kindergarten every day (as well as various things for school the next day); tidying up the room (picking up messy things and putting them back in their place).

6-7 years old: Not only must they be proficient in the housework required in the previous stages, but they must also be able to wash dishes with the help of their parents and clean their own rooms independently.

7-12 years old: Not only must master the housework required in the previous stages, but also be able to make simple meals; help wash the car; vacuum and mop the floor; clean the bathroom and toilet; sweep leaves and snow; be able to use a washing machine and dryer ; Move the trash can to the street at the door (a garbage truck will come to collect it).

13 years old and above: not only must be proficient in the housework required in the previous stages, but also be able to change light bulbs; change the garbage bag in the vacuum cleaner; clean the glass (both inside and outside); clean the refrigerator; clean the stove and oven; cook; list what to buy A list of things to do; laundry (the entire process, including washing, drying, folding, and returning clothes to the closet); mowing the lawn.